so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
