I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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