I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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