When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
