Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Randomize
