i love accidental penises.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
