i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
