i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
