Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
