the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize