he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
