she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize