I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
