I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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