She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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