apparently the secret to your success is patron
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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