based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize