You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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