it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
