Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He passed out mid-signature
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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