Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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