I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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