How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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