and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
