We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
