nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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