walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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