I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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