yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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