Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
