Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize