Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize