There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
