I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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