I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
