I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
