So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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