he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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