My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
