Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
