i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
