1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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