I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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