Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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