On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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