Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
