I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize