I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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