she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
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He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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