At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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