Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
only if we run a train.
done.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
