question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
