dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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