Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize