White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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