i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
