Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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