Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
