Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We left the knife in your bed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
