Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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