Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
