rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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