Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
