Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
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Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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