The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
