So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
