that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize