Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
