i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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