so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You may now shotgun with the bride
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
