he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
