We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish i was in the wii world.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
