I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize