break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
