she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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