Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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