all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
