ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
